The break up that changed me.

I think it made me realize what I wanted.

Hi friend,

Let me start by welcoming you to my safe space where I’ll be sharing with you some things that goes on in my life.

So I remember when I was in a “relationship” with Alex. I think it was a smooth one, I’m not even sure if it was but I know I really liked him and gosh I was crazy about him(don’t blame me, I was young and naive). At the time when we started our relationship, he was really sweet at first but then I don’t know if I should say life happened to us or something else, the relationship didn’t just work out.

He was in the university and I remember people telling me that time that, I was just wasting my time, and all of that but young and in love me wasn’t even ready to listen to any of it.

Fast forward to about a year in the relationship, we started having issues and it was funny because the things we had misunderstandings about were very irrelevant things that could have been easily resolved if we were both patient and ready to apologize when wrong, but neither of us used to want to admit and you’d agree with me that, some men are very egotistical.

We kept having several issues, he was the jealous type, and so many things made us have problems in the relationship. So, we were having many break up to make up and trust me when I say it was toxic. At some point I was beginning to feel like I couldn’t do without him, because I’d always find myself going back to him and I’d always be the one trying to make things right even when I wasn’t wrong.

It continued like that till when I just decided not to give in again, that was after my friends had constantly told me to leave him, but I’m telling you that there was a time he came begging again and I fell for it🤦🏾‍♀️This time though, I wasn’t fully into it, and then about a year later, I signed out totally and I wasn’t ready to go back to him, even when he kept trying to make things right, my mind was made up.

Now, during the time of that relationship, I was blinded by what I thought was “love” and it really affected me. I’m the loud type when it comes to loving someone, I don’t know how to hide my feelings when I really care about someone but this guy made it look like it was a bad thing and really, I legit thought I had a problem. I started to keep to myself more and I wasn’t even ready to do anything called relationship even though I tried to get into one, but it didn’t work out too.

The talking stages I got in didn’t pass talking stage because I just didn’t find anyone interesting enough or let’s just say I didn’t want to commit again, because of fear of the unknown.

After I healed from it, I realized that I wasn’t the problem, he didn’t just know how to love me like I wanted to. And I also realized that I had to love myself first before I allowed someone else love me the way I want to. I got to know where I was wrong, I had to work on myself to be better than the young girl that thought she was in love. And trust me when I tell you that, I’m not there yet but I’m way better than I was, at least I get very good comments from people on my growth.

I hope this was worth your time. Thank you for listening to me. I love you so much and I’m always rooting for you❤️

I want to hear from you so reach out, repost this newsletter and tag me, or just send me a DM, anyone works.

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